Are Past Hurts Holding You Back – Have You Grown Bitter or Better?

We all have past hurts and I am no exception. Some hurts will need professional help, while others will need a good friend or maybe a life coach for a season. However, every hurt comes with a choice.

One of my past hurts has to do with my dad and his business. My dad has since passed away and I never discussed this with him. Why would I, it would only make him feel bad about a situation he didn’t know anything about.

I love, loved, my dad so much.

He was looking for a bookkeeper for his business because my mom had grown weary of the role and things needed to change for the sake of their relationship. You need to know my mom and dad adored each other.

Whenever the phone would ring (old dial phone) she would write his name repeatedly, and with hearts, on the notepad by the phone. ?

Anyway, my dad asked me if I would like to try my hand at bookkeeping. Mom would be around to get me started and help me if I needed it. I said yes, enthusiastically! So… even back then, I knew I wanted to be a business woman.

My brother at the time was dating a very sharp young lady who was living in a very troubled family. My parents were always helping someone, in some way, to get through a troubled spot.

Dad decided she would be the perfect bookkeeper. She needed some stability and a job. I was forgotten, yep, it was like I had never been asked.

The hurt was deep

The hurt was deep. My father, who I loved dearly, never talked to me about it at all, it’s like he had never asked me to be the bookkeeper. I laid in my bed that night and cried myself to sleep.

This hurt was shoved to the side and I got back to life. But, I had a choice to make. I knew what rejection felt like and I would try never to treat someone like that.

This young lady was better for the job than me and I knew it. That was not the issue, why did my dad not come and talk to me about it? I felt like a special doll that had been thrown in the corner, not needed anymore.

Later, this beautiful young lady told me that my parents had saved her. She found her way after working for my parents. I’m so thankful to them, and for her.

All things happen for a reason. Will I be big enough to look past my hurts? Yes, with some kicking and screaming in between. I grow stronger through trials and so do you.

I believe we are all a product of our life experiences. If they were all good we would have nothing to share, we would be selfish and self-serving. I act that way sometimes anyway, ugh.

Once we know what it’s like to be treated badly we shouldn’t treat others that way, ever. What have I learned through this childhood experience?  So much.

You can’t see the future-

I had no idea that this beautiful young lady was going down the wrong road, that my parents changed her life. What if I would have thrown a fit and became the bookkeeper, where would she be today?

I still loved my dad-

Honestly though, I didn’t let this put a wedge between my dad and me. In time my young heart healed. My dad passed away from a brain tumor when I was 43. We had a great relationship all his life. It could have been different if I hadn’t moved on.

The truth can hurt-

I knew she would do a better job, was more qualified, and would catch on faster. I learned that If I wanted something I would have to work hard to achieve it. It takes me longer, but I get there. Perseverance, and staying the course is what works for me.

People you love will hurt you-

Trust does not come easily for me. I will check you out first and watch you. I know how to give the benefit of the doubt, but only a few times, before my trust will have to be earned back. You can be you, but I can be me.


If you are sincere, I can forgive and forget, and I can tell when you are not. I won’t hold a grudge, but if you don’t do what you say, I won’t be asking again. Does this sound harsh? I’m a work in progress remember, lol.


Hurts can change us. We can grow bitter or we can grow better. Our past will mold us into the people we become. I know I have learned to be careful, watchful.

All the past hurts have made me a better person, and I love to encourage others in their talents and life visions.

I have grown stronger through life’s trials and know I’ll never be done with hurts and problems, that is life. But, I can push through them.

A great quote by Mark Twain –

“Do the thing you fear most, and the death of fear is certain.”

I have found this to be true over, and over again.

We have to let the hurts make us stronger, to be bitter kills us.


I have gone on to create my own business. Denison Ridge – Weddings and Events. If you are considering extra income by using your property, ask me how.

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