“Mother – noun: One person who does the work of twenty. For free.”

Imagine with me for a moment “Mom,” that it’s your wedding day.  What role did your mother play in your wedding organization, was she hands off or hands on? Every mother wants her daughter to have the wedding of her dreams, being financially observant of course.  So as moms, where do we fit in, what’s a mother’s role?

DIY Wedding – What’s a Mother's Role?
Daughter Eryn and friend Sara wedding dress shopping.


Get your daughter’s perspective.

As a mom I like to be in control, now I didn’t say I like to control people (I sure hope I don’t come across that way :), but I sure do like to control situations! It’s a must to sit down and have that mother daughter talk about what and how dear daughter wants things to go. This is such an exciting time and I feel It’s so important to let your daughter talk and express her wishes without interruption; this is the time to be a good listener. I learned this the hard way.  I remember my daughter saying to me, “Mom!  I just need you to listen right now.” Ouch! Um, this can be very hard because as a mom our minds are rushing ahead trying to imagine just how this will all work.

What is mother’s perspective?

Mother’s perspective is very important also. After hearing all of dear daughter’s dreams it’s a good time to talk about expectations.  Who will be in charge and oversee that everything gets done on time? You might just want to throw out a bunch of ideas and take notes and get together at a later time after things sink in a little.  Everyone’s mind will be buzzing and full of ideas and sometimes it’s best to do some pros and cons and process things on your own before being able to give a helpful answer. It’s so important to be on the same page. Always be upfront and honest with each other, sharing concerns and delights. This is such a fun time!!

Determine what mother’s role is.

After all the discussion it will be pretty clear what mother’s role is going to be.  For me it was wedding coordinator, making sure everything went as planned. I loved this! My daughter and I worked very well together.  If you don’t want to be in the wedding coordination role then find someone else to take that position. Please do not take on something you know you are not good at and will be miserable at. Goodness, you want to enjoy this special time as well. I’m sure there are plenty of people in your life that would just love to take on the wedding coordinator role. Just make sure it’s someone that your daughter loves and trusts as well as you do.

A mother will wear many hats.

Many of us mothers will be the go-to person during this time. I believe we are called to be the voice of reason and be able to deliver this reason with love and care. There will be many instances where things will have to be changed for one reason or another, feelings will be hurt, expectations unmet. A mother’s role will be to bring things back into perspective giving encouragement, reassurance and that smile that say’s everything will work out. We need to be the glue that keeps things together. Being a mom to a DIY bride is not for the faint of heart. We must be present, available and sport a great attitude even when it’s hard.

Can you now “imagine” what your mother role will look like? I do hope this information will be a blessing to sweet daughter and mother. I have some excellent resources in the Shop  located under the “Extra” tab that will help bring organization and clarity to this very exciting backyard wedding adventure that you are embarking on.

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