Things to Consider When Choosing Your Bridesmaids
By Taylor Oddino
He asked! He finally asked! Your man popped the big question – so let the planning begin! Early on in the process, you will choose your maid of honor and other bridesmaids so they can help you along the way with other aspects of planning. But what things should you consider when choosing your bridesmaids? Here at Denison Ridge, we’re all about helping make things simple for you and your family as you plan your wedding. So take a look at this list, “Things to Consider When Choosing Your Bridesmaids,” and hopefully you’ll find some clarity on whom to include in your bridal party:
1) You need to be able to depend on them!
Weddings are a lot of work, and if you have a prayer of making all the magic happen, you’re probably going to need to enlist some help. This is where your family comes in, followed by your bridesmaids (specifically the maid of honor). You’re going to want girls you can depend on. Women that will be there to say, “I’m here to help, what can I do?” Getting everything done will be so much easier if you have a bridal party that is committed and dependable. In simple words: choose responsible people! It’s also worth noting that bridesmaids have quite a few responsibilities during the wedding planning process: multiple gown fittings, the bridal shower, the bachelorette, helping make decorations, etc. Think about the people you want working on all these things as you choose your gals. You want ladies that will make the process not only fun and special, but also efficient and smooth!
2) They should be positive and supportive of you.
No negativity here! You don’t need that in your wedding. This day is ultimately about you and your beloved, and you should be surrounded by people who support you and love you. If someone isn’t supportive of your relationship, then we would suggest not including her in the bridal party. You want to be surrounded by people who are genuinely happy for you. You need women who are encouraging, reassuring and bring positive energy to the process. These are the women who will lift you up, share in this journey with you and help you when you need it.
3) You’re going to be spending a lot of time together – make sure you are confident that you can spend a lot of time with the people you choose!
We’ll say it again – from dress fittings, to going over hair and make-up, to the bridal party, to the bachelorette, and everything in between, you are going to be seeing a lot of these ladies. If you don’t do well spending a lot of time with someone, maybe you should pass on including her in the bridal party. Yes you and your best friend from high school formed an irreplaceable bond over Mariah Carey and your mutual crush on McHottie from math class, but the fact that she talks a lot and drives you nuts when you spend too much time together might be an indication that she’s better off in an aisle seat!
A Word from Teri: There was one bride who bought her friend/bridesmaid a plane ticket to come to the wedding. All the friend did was flirt with the groomsmen. She went out drinking with them too. It was all about her and she didn’t help at all. In another instance, I saw a bride and a bridesmaid fighting all the time. The two were longtime friends, but the bridesmaid had too many ideas of her own. The bride ended up “firing” her longtime friend as a bridesmaid! I think it’s important for us to realize that we change in life. Someone who was once a really good friend might not be the best choice for where you’re at now. And that’s okay. Don’t feel guilty for not honoring promises that you made a long time ago (if you told someone a longtime ago that she would be a bridesmaid, but you’ve since grown apart, it’s okay to not honor that). People go in different directions in life – and that’s the beauty of life!
In the end, there will be people you feel obligated to choose – like your soon-to-be husband’s sister, aka your future sister-in-law. But the fact that she is flaky and always ends up canceling her plans with you, and has trouble holding down a job for longer than two months, might mean that she isn’t the best choice. You can always make people feel special by involving them in some other way. Remember: this is YOUR wedding, and you want women who empower you and support you. So be sure to consider these things when choosing your bridesmaids!
